The Office 5D's style
by Katina Uchiha
Summary: Yusei, jack, Crow, and the gang are getting ready for the next competition. Insanity ensues. Based off The Office from NBC. KingCrabShipping possibly plus other random pairings thrown in. rated for safety. character abuse.
1. PedaDexterity of a Chimp

A/N: i've been watching too much of The Office...

* * *

**Peda-dexterity of a chimp**

Crow pulled his shoe off, coughing slightly. He sat back in his chair and put his foot in the air, stretching his toes. He then reached over and grabbed the slaughtering iron off the table with his toes, unaware of Yusei's eyes on him.

"Why?" Yusei deadpanned, getting the attention of a few other people in the D-Wheel repair room. Crow just smiled.

"20 minutes a day, Yusei, that's all it takes," Crow explained proudly, holding up the iron a little higher. "20 minutes a day, all feet no hands and I will have the peda-dexterity of a chimp and you will be sitting there like an idiot."

Yusei just sighed and got up, making to leave the room. Crow smiled and turned to his D-Wheel, pushing the iron into one of the loose parts. However, this only made the part fall off and right into Jack's head. Jack shot up, glaring at Crow.

"Do you mind?" Jack snapped, rubbing the back of his head.

"I'm sorry, Jack, let me write you an apology note," Crow said, putting the iron down and turning to his laptop.

Everyone in the room was watching now as Crow began to type with his toes. Yusei then walked back in, smug as could be. He placed down a full mug of coffee next to Crow's laptop. He then took a sip of his own coffee and sighed happily.

"Thank you, Hands," Yusei said, smiling slightly. "Nothing in the universe can do what you do."

Crow looked from the cup to Yusei, accepting the silent challenge. Crow grabbed the handle with his toes and began to lift it from the table. He started out well, that is, until the cup began to tip over a little. Crow then tried to steady it with his other foot, which just proved to make matters worse. Crow then tipped the entire cup of steaming hot coffee right on his crotch. He screamed at the pain while several just looked at him in shock. Yusei sighed and put his hand up.

"Well, A for effort," Yusei said as Crow high-fived him with his foot.

* * *

i've been watching too much of The Office.

this is the beginning part of one of the episodes that my mom and i laughed our heads off to.

this story just came to me and it was too good to pass up.

don't ask me where they are, i have no idea... i'm only on episode... 19 of the anime. i only know about crow because of Yu-Gi-Oh! Wikia...

anyway, enjoy the randomness~


	2. It's Snowing

**It's snowing~**

Yusei tapped his hand to the beat of the song he was listening to as he was fixing his D-Wheel. It was calm, rather boring day. Nothing went wrong yet, Crow was actually behaving, and Trudge didn't have a bug up his ass… Yeah, it seemed like a good day. He started spinning a little in his chair until he faced the window and smiled. He pulled out one of his earbuds and chuckled.

"Hey, it's snowing," Yusei said, pointing to the window. Everyone looked up and indeed, it was snowing.

"Oh my God, it's the first snowfall of Christmas," Crow said, a little too happily. Yusei looked back at him, finding it hard to keep the smile on his face. "Is that just so magical for you, Little Girl? Can you just not wait to have a hot chocolate and cuddle up on Daddy's lap and tell him all your Christmas Dreams?" Yusei just rolled his eyes. Crow sighed and turned back to his runner. "It's not even a real snow. It's a dusting."

* * *

Yusei put his hands in his pockets as he walked outside. Just a dusting, yeah right. He was going to show Crow. He bent down on the ground and gathered up enough snow to make a snowball and went back inside. As he walked into the garage, Crow was busy at work on his runner. Jack, however, gave Yusei a strange look. Yusei held up the snowball and smiled.

"Hey, Crow," Yusei said, getting Crow's attention. Crow turned around, just in time for a snowball to the face. Everyone in the garage started laughing. Jack high-fived Yusei and did his best to hold in his chuckles. Yusei just sat down on his stool, smirking.

"Damn it, Yusei, you cannot throw snowballs in here!" Crow snapped, jolting out of his seat.

"Well, it's not a snowball," Yusei said with a smile, "'Cause it's just a dusting."

"Look at that," Crow said, picking up a piece of the snow. "There was a pebble in there! You could have killed me!"

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Akiza said, chuckling.

"Yeah, who's the little girl now?" Trudge asked, making every chuckle again.

"You apologize to me right now," Crow hissed to Yusei.

"You have something on your nose," Yusei said, avoiding the demand.

"Apologize right now," Crow hissed.

"No," Yusei said calmly.

"Fine then," Crow said, stepping closer to Yusei. "I challenge you to a snowball fight on the first real snowfall of winter."

"You got it," Yusei said, shaking Crow's hand.

"That sounds awesome," Leo said, running up to the two. "Can we all do it?"

"No, Leo, it's a snowball _fight_, not fun," Crow snapped. "Go get your own thing."

Leo went off, sulking. Jack looked between Crow and Yusei, a little worried. He could feel that this was not going to end well… not well at all…

* * *

i know, ppl may be VERY out of character here... but i'm only on ep. 19 on the anime, so i don't know Crow yet... i just needed a Dwight... and Yusei is Jim... and it seems like Jack is going to flip flop between being Pam and Mike...


	3. Attack of the Snowman

**Attack of the Snowman**

Yusei walked into the garage and sat down at his D-Wheel, ready to get back to work. He paused, however, when he saw a sticky note attached to his runner. It was in Crow's handwriting: _It is time. Today, on the track, noon._

Yusei looked over to Crow, who sat there just staring at Yusei. Yusei just handed him the note. Crow took it and pulled out his lighter. He then lit the note on fire, burning the evidence.

* * *

Yusei stood out on the track, freezing his ass off. He had been there for nearly an hour already, and Crow hadn't shown up. It was really pissing him off. Crow was the one who issued the challenge in the first place! Yusei tried to call Crow again, but just got the voicemail. He didn't bother leaving a message this time. It wasn't worth it. So, Yusei turned to go back inside. However, when he got to the doors, there were chains on the handles, preventing anyone from getting in or out. That was when Yusei came to a horrible realization.

Crow was there the entire time.

Yusei slowly backed away from the door, feeling a sense of fear wash over him. He didn't have time to act on his fear, however, because he heard something scream from behind him. Yusei turned around, only to see Crow coming out of the snowman that was off to the side of the tracks with a backpack open and strapped to his chest. Yusei was about to tell Crow to stop, but Crow chucked an ice snowball at Yusei, hitting him right in the nose. Yusei screamed for Crow to stop. However, Crow just kept pelting him with snow/ice balls. Yusei ended up in a fetal position on the ground, trying to save himself from the wrath of the snowballs. Crow dumped out the rest of the snow from the backpack and ran off, laughing hysterically.

* * *

"I have no feeling in my fingers or penis," Crow said, a smirk on his face. "But it was worth it."

* * *

"I was just lying on the ground, defenseless," Yusei said, holding a tissue to his bloody nose. "And he just kept attacking until he exhausted himself. And ah.. Then…" Yusei stopped when he heard his phone beep. He pulled it out of his pocket and glared at the text. "'How about icing it? Lol. Crow.'"

Yusei looked through the door he was in front of to see Crow sitting at his station, smiling at him like nothing happened.

* * *

Jack groaned as part of his runner fell off yet again. He wasn't the engineer of the group, Yusei was. However, Yusei was currently nowhere to be found…

"Try this part," Yusei said from behind Jack, handing him another part. "It might work better."

"Thanks," Jack said, turning to Yusei. His smile, however, was wiped off his face when he saw blood. "What happened! You look like a fate worse than death!"

"Crow attacked me with iceballs," Yusei said, pressing another tissue to his still bleeding nose. He grabbed his stool and set it down next to Jack and sat down, groaning.

"That arse, I'll teach him," Jack growled.

"No, no, no," Yusei said, groaning. "I'll take care of it…"

"Are you sure?" Jack asked, getting a clean rag and his bottle of water.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Yusei said, pulling out yet another tissue from his pocket.

"Well, come here," Jack said, pulling Yusei's head down on his lap. "You should lean back. It will help stop the bleeding."

"Thanks…" Yusei said, pulling the tissue away from his nose.

"Now, let's get you cleaned up," Jack said, pouring some of the water on the rag. "We don't want you covered in blood all day, right?"

"You don't have to do that," Yusei said as Jack began to wipe the blood away.

"You're right," Jack said with a chuckle. "I want to."

Yusei smiled slightly as Jack continued to clean the blood away. He just closed his eyes, now trying to figure out the perfect way to get back at Crow…

* * *

i don't know what's going on either, really.

the cast of 5D's has gone insane.


	4. A Wig For Everyone

**Wig for everyone**

Yusei walked into the garage, cup of coffee in one hand and a spare part for his runner in the other. He passed Jack's runner and was about to sit down at his own station. He looked up when he heard the door on the other side of the room open and Jack walk in. Yusei looked at Jack, confused, and then looked over at the Jack that was sitting at the runner.

Crow whipped around, looking strange in the Jack wig, making Yusei jump a foot in the air. Crow then picked up the bowl of snowballs he had on his lap and bolted up, beginning to chuck them at Yusei. Yusei covered his face, not wanting another bloody nose. He was yelling at Crow to stop, but Crow just kept on coming until he was out of snowballs.

* * *

"Yes, I have a wig for every person in the competition," Crow said, smirking. "You never know when you'll need to share a passing resemblance to someone."

* * *

"I just want it to stop…" Yusei said, rubbing his head where the snowballs hit.

* * *

Yes, i know, short.

the above part is when in the tv show, they have that little 'interview' like thing~

one or two more chapters coming up~


	5. Snowballs Gone Wrong

A/N: possibly the last chapter, just a heads up~

* * *

Snow balls gone wrong

Yusei smirked as he twirled the lacrosse stick in his hands. He and Crow had been having this epic snowball fight all day that left Yusei in pain, bleeding, and generally humiliated. Now, it was payback time. He had a snowball in his lacrosse stick and he was ready to kick Crow's ass.

Currently, Crow was in the lounge, talking with Jack about some nonsense. Yusei watched through the open door, spinning his lacrosse stick. He just needed to right aim…

"Oh, Yusei," Nerve said, turning around to see Yusei right behind him. "Hey, I gotta tell you something."

"Really?" Yusei asked, not paying attention.

"There is this girl in the pit crew," Nerve said, chuckling a little. "The pit crew of Hunter, and she looks exactly like you."

"No way," Yusei said, feigning excitement.

"Yeah, it's uncanny," Nerve went on.

"You know what's crazy? I can't reconnect with you right now…" Yusei said, moving Nerve out of the way.

Now was his chance. Yusei took a small hop forward was swung the lacrosse stick, lobbing the snowball into the lounge. However, Crow moved at the right moment and Yusei's aim was a little high. The snowball ended up flying right through the window Crow was under moments before, shattering it.

Everything was silent.

Yusei just put his head against the wall. Crow looked at him, completely in shock since he knew that snowball was meant to hit him. Jack glared at Yusei. Yusei walked back over to his D-Wheel, sat down on the stool, and casually slipped the lacrosse stick under the work bench like nothing happened. Jack walked into the threshold of the doorway, staring at Yusei like he was out of his mind. Crow came up behind Jack and placed a hand on his shoulder, the same disbelieving look on his face. Yusei put his head in his hands on the work bench. He then looked over his shoulder at the door, a very innocent look on his face. He was in for it now…

* * *

yeah, so, maybe the last chapter~

ummm... R&R if you want me to continue~

so, Jack has switched from being Pam to being Mike... yeah, just had to do that...


End file.
